351.
Copy
from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.
--Wilson Mizner
352.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m
halfway through my fishburger, and I realize, “Oh my God, I could be eating a slow
learner.”
--Lynda Montgomery
353.
In
fact, one thing that I have noticed… is that all of these conspiracy theories
depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you’ll find the facts also work if you
assume everyone is endlessly stupid.
--Brian E. Moore (ellipsis his)
354.
May your traditional cuisine be unrecognizably corrupted
and then presented in small easy-to-carry boxes to foreigners.
--David Morgan-Mar,
“Irregular Webcomic”
355.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
--Murphy’s First Law
356.
Everything takes longer than you think.
--Murphy’s Second Law
357.
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
--Murphy’s Third Law
358.
If there is a possibility of several things going
wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
--Murphy’s Fourth Law
359.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
--Murphy’s Fifth Law
360.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways
in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared
for, will promptly develop.
--Murphy’s Sixth Law
361.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to
worse.
--Murphy’s Seventh Law
362.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
--Murphy’s Eighth Law
363.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
--Murphy’s Ninth Law
364.
Mother Nature is a bitch.
--Murphy’s Tenth Law
365.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because
fools are so ingenious.
--Murphy’s Eleventh Law
366.
Whenever
someone says they did something “like a boss,” I assume that means they didn’t
do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
--Bill Murray
367.
Facts
are facts and will not disappear
on account of your likes.
--Jawaharlal Nehru
368.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate
those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.”
--Bob Newhart
369.
You should not be afraid of someone who has a
library and reads many books; you should fear someone who has only one book;
and he considers it sacred, but he has never read it.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
370.
Any sufficiently advanced magic is
indistinguishable from technology.
--Larry Niven
371.
I
always loved particle physics. Gotta love how they study something by smashing
it into pieces. I always pictured using the same
technique to study how a radio works by shooting bullets into it, and then
observing the pieces as they fly out of the radio.
--Nizo,
on Slashdot
372.
A
miniskirt speech: Short enough to keep you interested, long enough to cover the
topic.
--Norby
373.
An atheist believes that a hospital should be
built instead of a church. An atheist
believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An atheist strives for involvement in life
and not escape into death. He wants
disease conquered, poverty banished, war eliminated.
–Dr. Madalyn Murray O’Hair
374.
Atheism is a very positive affirmation of man’s
ability to think for himself, to do for himself, to find answers to his own
problems.
–Dr. Madalyn Murray O’Hair
375.
I’ll tell you what you did to atheists for about
1,500 years. You outlawed them from universities
or any teaching careers, besmirched their reputations, banned or burned their
books or their writings of any kind, humiliated them, seized their properties,
arrested them for blasphemy. You dehumanized
them with beatings and exquisite torture, gouged out their eyes, slit their tongues,
stretched, crushed, or broke their limbs, tore off their breasts if they were women,
crushed their scrotums if they were men, imprisoned them, stabbed them, disemboweled
them, hung them, burned them alive. And
you have the nerve enough to complain to me that I laugh at you.
–Dr. Madalyn Murray O’Hair
