Quotes - Part Twenty-Two

 

326.                   Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

--Manly’s Maxim

327.                   To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion

--Tina Mancuso, on “The Jargon File”

328.                   I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

--Manhattan Murder Mystery

329.                   Well, it’s not really “hi-fi,” and not really “lo-fi.” It’s just kinda “fi.”

--Aimee Mann

330.                   What you have when everyone wears the same play clothes for all occasions, is addressed by nickname, expected to participate in Show and Tell, and bullied out of any desire for privacy, is not democracy; it is kindergarten.

--Miss Manners

331.                   I solemnly avow that religion is bunkum everywhere it is found and in every form in which it is found.  Furthermore, I declare that the acceptance of poorly transcribed, poorly edited manuscripts from prehistoric tribes as the word of the universe itself is a folly that should strain the gullibility of a six-year-old child.  I heretofore state without equivocation that religion makes stupidity the way apple trees make apples.

–Stephen Marche

332.                   The good thing about having a death wish is that you’re much more likely to get that wish than, say, the one about a lingerie-clad Nicole Kidman stopping by your apartment with beer and pizza.

--Maurizio Mariotti

333.                   For those habituated to high levels of internal stress since early childhood, it is the absence of stress that creates unease, evoking boredom, and a sense of meaninglessness.  People may become addicted to their own stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, Hans Selye observed.  To such persons, stress feels desirable, while the absence of it feels like something to be avoided.

--Gabor Maté, MD

334.                   Some people have a way with words, and other people… not have way.

--Steve Martin

335.               I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.

--Groucho Marx

336.               Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

--Groucho Marx

337.               When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

--Merkin’s Maxim

338.               Maybe you’re not healing because you’re trying to be who you were before the trauma.  That person doesn’t exist anymore because there’s a new you trying to be born.  Breathe life into that person.

--Boii McCoy

339.               I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt? The one who wins gets a purse. And they do it in gloves. It’s the accessories I love.

--John McGovern

340.               Dave, no. No killing any innocents today. No. Bad Dave.

--Jess McGregor

341.               If you’re cross‑eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?

--John Mendoza

342.               For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

--H.L. Mencken

343.               Love is 80% maintenance: changing filters, cleaning grout, touching up paint. Love is tedious and repetitive, and also the most important thing in the universe. Without that work, everything falls apart. And the only reason anyone bothers is because of who we’re doing it for.”

–Micro Flash Fiction

344.               Some things are so wonderful that it almost feels ungrateful to say, “That’s enough.” But beauty you cannot avoid is wallpaper. Music you cannot silence is noise. And an embrace you cannot break is a restraint. Tonight was fantastic, but it becomes less so every second you stay.

–Micro Flash Fiction

345.               People always make fun of Midwesterners for not taking cover during a tornado when it’s literally called “tornado watch.”

--@midwestern_ope

346.                   Revelation in net speak: God: “Praise or GTFO” Heathen: “L@wl f@g!” God: “FLAME WAR! /ban”

--Randal Milholland

347.                   The biggest conspiracy has always been the fact that there is no conspiracy. Nobody’s out to get you. Nobody gives a shit whether you live or die. There, you feel better now?

--Dennis Miller

348.                   Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

--A.A. Milne, Christopher Robin to Pooh

349.                   Sorry I used finger puppets and crayons to explain what condescending means to you.

--@missekay

350.                   I need “Happier than a necromancer in a natural history museum” to become a known phrase immediately.

--@misterartist