Quotes - Part Seventeen

 

211.                   After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

--Farnsdick’s Corollary to Murphy’s Seventh Law

212.                   A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes

--James Feibleman

213.                   With every passing hour our solar system comes forty‑three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.

--Ransom K. Ferm

214.                   I have a truly marvelous demonstration of this proposition which this margin is too narrow to contain

--Pierre de Fermat

215.                   Never replicate a successful experiment.

--Fett’s Law

216.                   Daimler-Chrysler will market a giant SUV called Unimog in the United States. The Unimog is over nine feet high and twenty feet long. The $84,000 truck will most likely be bought by fire departments, construction companies, and men with very tiny penises.

--Tina Fey

217.                   Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

--W.C. Fields

218.                   If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

--Finagle’s First Law

219.                   One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

--Robert Firth

220.               Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

--Flucard’s Corollary

Quotes - Part Sixteen

 I couldn't tell you how I found Everything^2.  I think it came across them in a list of quotes.  There's quite a bit there.

191.                   To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children… to leave the world a better place… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

192.                   You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

--Nora Ephron

193.                   The situation is not weirder than you imagine, it is weirder than you can imagine.

--Lewis Carroll Epstein, Relativity Visualized

194.                   Relationships are hard. It’s like a full‑time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.

--Bob Ettinger

195.                   Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish

--Euripides

196.                   The other line moves faster.

--Ettore’s Observation

197.                   Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Good Eye

--Everything²

198.                   Don’t try this at home. Don’t try this on the bus. Do not try this on a train or in the rain. Do not try this anywhere. Never do this. Don’t be stupid.

--Everything²

199.                   Gyaargh! The rumours of the Daystar are true!

--Everything²

200.               “Oh bother,” said the Borg. “We’ve assimilated Pooh.”

--Everything²

201.               No, Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond!

--Everything²

202.               There’s a distortion in space-time. Jump into it?

--Everything²

203.               This may not be a hushy-shushy library, but bringing in the ska band is a bit much.

--Everything²

204.               Traditionally, Scottish food is based on dares.

--Everything²

205.               Zen pancakes! Get them while they’re not!

--Everything²

206.               Life can be grim when you pass 80, especially if there’s a police car behind you.

--Sam Ewing

207.               She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse.

--Ezekiel 23:20

208.               These days, being paranoid just means you’re paying attention.

--Fate #19

209.               Star Wars III: So long and thanks for all the Sith

--Fark

210.               Don’t worry about temptation – as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

--Farmer’s Almanac

Quotes - Part Fifteen

 

171.                   This is the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy, and it makes a distinct sound when fired at you, so remember it.

--Gunnery Sergeant Hightower (Clint Eastwood), Heartbreak Ridge

172.                   When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick is off knives.

--Lauren Eden

173.                   Every time I drink milk, I remember my roommate who used to put powdered milk in his milk so he could drink “more milk per milk”.

--Avery Edison

174.                   I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

--Dave Edison

175.                   The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

--Ehrlich

176.                   May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk.

--Egyptian blessing

177.                   Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

--Albert Einstein

178.                   As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

--Albert Einstein

179.                   Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.

--Albert Einstein

180.               Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

--Albert Einstein

181.               I want to know God’s thoughts; the rest are details.

--Albert Einstein

182.               If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.

--Albert Einstein

183.               Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

--Albert Einstein

184.               Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

--Albert Einstein

185.               The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

--Albert Einstein

186.               Things should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

--Albert Einstein

187.               You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

--Albert Einstein

188.               We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles?  There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

--Albert Einstein

189.               When I was a boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him I wanted to be a real major league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he’d like to be president of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

--President Dwight D. Eisenhower

180.               There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

--Marc Elias

Quotes - Part Fourteen

So one of things that I'm learning as I post these are whose quotes I'm keeping.  Some of the quotes I had were relatively old, and knowing who some of these people have become over time, it's kind of obvious in retrospect.

161.                   In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it’s the exact opposite.

--Paul Dirac

162.                   It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

--Walt Disney

163.                   If you can’t take the heat, don’t set yourself on fire.

--Doghouse Diaries

164.                   Think not of the books you’ve bought as a “to be read” pile.  Instead, think of your bookcase as a wine cellar.  You collect books to be read at the right tie, the right place, and the right mood.

--Luc van Donkersgoed

165.                   Karaoke bars combine two of the nation’s greatest evils: people who shouldn’t drink with people who shouldn’t sing.

--Tom Dreesen

166.                   So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.

--Peter Drucker

167.                   Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

--Ducharme’s Precept

168.                   Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.

--Will Durant (1885 - 1981)

169.                   Every now and then it’s nice to pick your head up from you book, reacquaint yourself with the world around you, take a hard pass, and immediately go right back to reading.

--Jonathon Edward Durham

170.               I recommend no fewer than four copies of any beloved book.  A paperback for traveling and lending to friends, an eBook for reading with greasy snack fingers, an audio book so you know how the characters’ names are pronounced, and a pristine hardcover to be buried with you like a pharaoh.

--Jonathon Edward Durham

Quotes - Part Thirteen

 

151.                   I’m sorry, but “non-fungible” will always mean “impossible to turn into a mushroom” to me.

--@DarkLiterata

152.                   I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of caterpillars.

--Charles Darwin

153.                   I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

--Richard Dawkins

154.                   Living organisms are beautifully built to survive and reproduce in their environments.  Or that is what Darwinians say. But actually, it isn’t quite right.  They are beautifully built for survival in their ancestors’’ environments.

--Richard Dawkins

155.                   You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

--Ellen DeGeneres

156.                   The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.

--Neil deGrasse-Tyson

157.                   Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.

--Philip K. Dick

158.                   Love: a season’s pass on the shuttle between Heaven and Hell.

--Don Dickerman

159.                   Personally, I like to surround myself with people who have extensive vocabularies, but nevertheless choose to say “fuck” a lot.

--@diemydarkling

160.               A god that does not manifest in reality is indistinguishable from a god that does not exist.

--Matt Dilahunty

Quotes - Part Twelve

 

141.                   Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy‑five cents.

--Billiam Coronel

142.                   Paper is always strongest at the perforations.

--Corry

143.                   You get a little moody sometimes, but I think that’s because you like to read.  People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

–Pat Conroy

144.                   If something happens, it must be possible.

--Scott Cox’s First Law of Physics

145.                   The key to winning arguments… is to always be right. And to be able to prove that you’re right so conclusively that no one can prevail against you

--John Cramer, Einstein’s Bridge (spoken by a character)

146.                   How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!

--Frasier Crane, in Frasier

147.                   When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”

--Quentin Crisp

148.                   Women need a reason to have sex – men just need a place.

--Billy Crystal.

149.                   The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.

--Salvador Dali

150.               The Gauls are the ancestors of today’s Frenchmen, as evidenced by their haughty imperious manner, and their total surrender to the Romans.

--C.H. Dalton, A Practical Guide to Racism

Quotes - Part Eleven

131.                   Light sabers don’t kill people. Jedis kill people.

--Jim Clark

132.                   Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

--Arthur C. Clarke

133.                   Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories

--Arthur C. Clarke

134.                   I find it so funny that “The Addams Family” is basically meant to be a caricature of what the polar opposite of the picturesque happy suburban family might look like, and part of that includes a husband that is deeply in love with his wife, and a wife that doesn’t resent her husband.

--Kentington Clarke

135.                   For safety’s sake, I try not to go to the ATM at night. I also try not to go with my four-year-old who likes to scream, “We got money! We got money!”

--Paul Clay

136.                   I think that all right‑thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not! But I’m sick and tired of being told that I am!

--John Cleese, “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”

137.                   Your blood relations are just your suggested pre-generated party members, but it’s perfectly okay to ditch as many of them as you like, and craft an entire party of Lizard-folk pyromancer instead or whatever suits you.

--Oliver Clegg

138.                   Sleeping with a military guy, and then telling him he can’t stay over because of the 3^rd Amendment.

--@coolauntV

139.                   I don’t know who needs to hear this, but rest is not a reward.  You don’t have to earn rest.  You need rest.  You deserve rest.  You are worthy of rest simply because you are a living being.  And don’t ever feel guilty for taking time to rest.

--@coolurbanhippie

140.               My friend said, “Fahrenheit is how people feel.  Celsius is how water feels.  Kelvin is how the molecules feel.” And I can’t stop thinking about how much sense this makes.

--Kennedy T. Cooper