435.
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher
fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left
of your unit.
--PS Magazine,
August 1993 issue, page 9
436.
Do not trust the way you see yourself when your
mind is turbulent and remember that even pain is temporary. Honor your boundaries, treat yourself gently,
let go of perfection, and feel your emotions without letting them control
you. You have enough experience to face
the storm and evolve from it.
--Yung Pueblo, Resilience
When asked, “How do you get through the tough moments?”
437.
Of course, anyone who truly loves books buys more
of them than he or she can hope to read in one fleeting lifetime. A good book,
resting unopened in its slot on a shelf, full of majestic potentiality, is the
most comforting sort of intellectual wallpaper.
--David Quammen
438.
It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment;
it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
--Dan Quayle
439.
I base my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.
--Gilda Radner
440.
But
is zero divided by zero also one? If no fruits are divided
among no one, will each still get one?
--Srinivasa Ramanujan as a young child
441.
I don’t like making plans for the day because
then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.
--@rebelcircus
442.
Don’t have the stats to hand, but RedEye would guess
that the number of copies of “Doom” involved in handgun killings last year was significantly
lower than the number of handguns involved in handgun killings.
--RedEye, in Edge magazine
443.
You know what would be cool? A One Ring loose-leaf
binder. It would have one ring, and you could use it in the darkness. To, you know,
bind things.
--Alter Reiss
444.
It’s a journey; not every step we take will be
forward.
--Elrond in "Rings of Power”
445.
We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to
others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.
--François de La Rochefoucauld
446.
Until humans learn to tolerate – no, that’s not
enough; to positively value each other – until we can value the diversity here
on earth, then we don’t deserve to go into outer space and encounter the
infinite diversity out there.
–Gene Roddenberry
447.
Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us
geography.
--Paul Rodriguez
448.
Understanding your partner’s childhood trauma and
triggers is a love language.
--Ricch Rody
449.
Diplomacy is the art of saying, “Nice doggie,”
until you can find a rock.
-Will Rogers
450.
Things will get better despite our efforts to improve
them.
--Will Rogers
451.
I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: “No good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall”.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
452.
I was bad at getting girls in high school, even
when I tried to use the angle of being in a band. I’d be like, “Yo, what’s up girl? You wanna come see my band on Friday?”
“Maybe… What the
name of your band?”
“Marching
--Tim Ross
453.
In
the fall of 1972, President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of
inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president used the
third derivative to advance his case for reelection.
--Hugo Rossi
454.
Truth is. Belief is not required.
--Gerry Roston
455.
We love what we love. Reason does not enter into
it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because.
That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something
despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and
perfect.
--Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear
456.
Every time I date a man I think: Is this the man I
want my children to spend their weekends with?
--Rita Rudner
457.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared
for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
--Rita Rudner
458.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me.
One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do
anything that feels good for 36 hours.
--Rita Rudner
459.
I
wonder if other dogs think
poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
--Rita Rudner
460.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or
have a child. We can’t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
--Rita Rudner
461.
My husband is English and I’m American. I wonder what
our children would be like. They’d probably be rude, but disgusted by their own
behavior.
--Rita Rudner
462.
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip.
There’s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib, and said, “Look, it’s
always gonna be me!”
--Rita Rudner
463.
Only someone who understands something absolutely
can explain it so no one else can understand it.
--Rudnicki’s Nobel Prize Principle
464.
If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re
probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.
--Sara K. Runnels
465.
Strange things happen when you’re in debt. Two weeks
ago my car broke down and my phone got disconnected. I was one electric bill away
from being Amish.
--Tom Ryan
466.
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going
to get lucky. A woman already knows.
--Frederick Ryder
467.
The
fact is that far more crime and child abuse has been committed by zealots in
the name of God, Jesus, and Mohammed than has ever been committed in the name
of Satan. Many people don’t like that
statement, but few can argue with it.
--Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle
in the Dark
468.
The
fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed
at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they
laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
--Carl Sagan
469.
Those who take lightly promises they make to
those they love are people who find little lasting satisfaction in life. This
is not an easy time in which to live. That does not mean that it has to be a
difficult time to love, but it does mean that you will find unusual stresses
upon your lives and your relationship.
--Brandon
Sanderson, The Well of Ascension
470.
I’m writing my PhD thesis in theoretical physics,
and every time I have to decide between using > and <, I think to myself,
“The crocodile wants to eat the bigger number.”
--@sapphirelily
471.
Why does everyone force introverts to be
talkative and leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut
up, even for a minute, to make the zone more comfortable?
--@sarcasmmother
472.
If you strike me down, I shall become bluer and shinier
than you can possibly imagine. That and my voice will echo. Like this: ECHO!!! Echo!
echo…
--sarge21, “PD Central”
473.
Family doesn’t push your buttons, they installed
them.
--Adam Savage
474.
The only difference between screwing around and
science is writing it down.
--Adam Savage
475.
Remember kids, all human progress is behind a
vanguard of homicidal maniacs.
--Adam Savage
476.
The right hand doesn’t know that the left hand has
been cut off.
--Paul D. Schmitter
477.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where
have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one
night.”
--Charles Schulz, “Peanuts”
478.
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without
your accordion.
--Norman Schwartzkopf
479.
If we
would get off our butts and provide the necessary
funding for research, we would have a cure for all types of cancers.
--Norman Schwarzkopf
480.
Abraham Lincoln once said that if you’re a
racist, I will attack you with the north.
--Michael Scott
481.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains,
a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T‑shirt with a bloodstain
all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid
of the body before you do the wash.
--Jerry Seinfeld
482.
There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because
men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men
think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”
--Jerry Seinfeld
483.
When you enjoy something,
you must never let logic get too much in the way. Like the villains in all the
James Bond movies. Whenever Bond breaks into the complex: “Ah, Mr. Bond,
welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put you in a
death machine that doesn’t work.”
--Jerry Seinfeld
484.
It’s
a shame that stupidity isn’t painful.
--Todd Selburg
485.
In life, you’ll be misunderstood. At some point, you’ll be made out to be
something you’re not. When this happens,
it’s not as important to defend yourself as it is to know yourself. Know who you are, know what you mean, and
know enough to feel secure even though you’re not seen.
--@sgrstk
486.
[Opera is when] a tenor and a soprano want to
make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.
--George Bernard
Shaw
487.
When two people are under the influence of the most
violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required
to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition
continuously until death do they part.
--George Bernard Shaw
488.
The
USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built
on thousands of ancient Indian burial mounds.
--@shutupmikeginn
489.
One
very important ingredient of success is a good, wide-awake,
persistent, tireless enemy.
--Frank B. Shutts
490.
I’m just sayin’, everyone that confuses
correlation with causation eventually ends up dead.
--@SilverVVulpes
491.
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes
they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
--Roger Simon
492.
Weaseling
out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…
except the weasel.
--Homer Simpson
493.
We love Edgar Allan Poe, because he portrays
universal human emotions like: loss, grief, unrequited love, burying your enemy
alive in the cellar, and being scared out of your mind by a bird.
--@SketchesbyBoze
494.
Most cutting thing you can say is, “Who’s this
clown?” because it implies they’re a) a clown, and b) not even one of the
better-known clowns.
--@skullmandible
495. Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10-foot radius
takes full damage from the fireball.
--Slashdot
496.
Not only does Jesus save, but he makes nightly off-site
backups.
--Slashdot
497.
Everyone’s “fifteen
minutes of fame” is turning into everyone’s reality show slo-mo farewell
montage.
--Emily Slatten
498.
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with
it.
--Slous
499.
Nothing can be done in one trip.
--Snider
500.
We
are the Superconductors. Resistance is futile.
--Colonel Sponsz, on Slashdot
