Quotes - Part Twenty-Eight

 

526.                   Because Life is not a movie: Everyone lies. Good guys lose. And love… does not conquer all.

--“Swimming with Sharks”

527.                   As kids, top “catch ‘em all” was a fairly reasonable demand when there were just 151 cute little Pokémon. But now, there’s like a thousand of those shits., and half of them are interdimensional space kaiju, and I think that’s why we all have anxiety disorders now.

--@synthandlasers

528.                   Science is to see what everyone else has seen but think what no one else has thought.

--Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

529.                   What I feel for you falls somewhere between unyielding lover and loyalty or true and lifelong friends and the delectably dark indecent lust of a heated one-night stand.

--Beau Taplin, Wickedly Wholesome

530.                   You want to know what it was? The moment I knew you were it? It was when I showed you the darkest parts of me, and instead of running away, you rolled out a blanket, laid on your back, and pointed out the stars.

--Beau Taplin, Astronome

531.                   Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

--Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

532.                   Don’t make me add “rounding π down to 3” to your list of crimes.

--Petey, “Schlock Mercenary” by Howard Tayler

533.                   If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn’t be many people left.

--Captain Tagon, “Schlock Mercenary” by Howard Tayler

534.                   If anyone wants a hole in the ground, nuclear explosives can make big holes.

--Edward Teller

535.               I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

--Hunter S. Thompson

536.               When in doubt, use brute force.

--Ken Thompson

537.               He who learns, and runs away, lives to learn another day.

--Edward Lee Thorndike

538.               The human body is a wonderful thing, especially how they link up.

--thrillhouse22, “PD Central”

539.               You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

--James Thurber

540.               Don’t blow up the universe! That’s where I keep all my stuff!

--The Tick, in The Tick

541.               Y’all shame “vanilla” sex all the time on here, but it’s amazing when both people enjoy it.  It’s not my fault you gotta have your leg in a bear trap and get punched in the face to cum.  Relax.

--@TimAintCool

542.               I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

--Lily Tomlin

543.               I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

--Lily Tomlin

544.               Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

--Lily Tomlin

545.               The yellow face, it burns us!

--Gollum, The Lord Of The Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

546.               I can’t believe I got all the way through middle school, all the way through high school, all the way through college, and there was no underwater level

--“Toothpaste For Dinner”

547.               I have deadly nightshade
So twisted does it grow
With berries black as midnight,
And a skull as white as snow.

The vicar’s cocky young son
Came to drink my tea.
He touched me without asking;
Now he’s buried ‘neath a tree.

–Traditional “Girls Skipping Rhyme” from Chokely in Wynterset

548.               Never say “Oops” in the operating room.

--Dr. Leo Troy

549.               Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

--Harry S. Truman