Quotes - Part Thirty-Three

 

1.                   Backups? We don’ need no steenking backups.

2.                   Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay…

3.                   A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

4.                   The beatings will continue until morale improves.

5.                   Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

6.                   Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

7.                   Being famous on the internet is a lot like being the prettiest waitress at IHOP. No-one really gives a shit.

8.                   The best defense is to stay out of range.

9.                   Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression

10.               The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open.

11.               Black holes are where God divided by zero.

12.               BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding

13.               Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

14.               Bull fighting would be a sport if the matador dressed in red clothing and had no weapons.

15.               C:\ > Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

16.               C:\ is the root of all directories.

17.               C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

18.               Calling Chuck Jones a simple animator, is like calling Gregor Mendel a humble pea farmer.

19.               A camel is a horse designed by committee.

20.               Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager? Can you imagine managing an imaginary menagerie?

21.               Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany. That’s because they surrendered to the British.

22.               Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

23.               Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

24.               Ceraunophile – n. – a person who loves lightning and thunder; a lover of thunderstorms

25.               Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

26.               College: The fountains of knowledge where everyone goes to drink.

27.               A college professor is someone smart enough to get a Ph.D., but too crazy to make a living.

28.               Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.

29.               A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.

30.               Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

31.               Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

32.               A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

33.               CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re‑boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?

34.               Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

35.               Constant use will wear out anything… especially friends.

36.               Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

37.               Cover me. I’m changing lanes

38.               Cwtch: (Welsh) n. – More than a cuddle or a hug, when you give someone a cwtch, you figuratively give them a “safe place.”