Quotes - Part Thirty-Five

 1.                   The E‑mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

2.                   E‑mail returned to sender – insufficient voltage.

3.                   The easy way is always mined.

4.                   Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.

5.                   Education helps earning capacity. Ask any college professor.

6.                   The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

7.                   The enemy of my enemy is my ally… The friend of my enemy is an unwitting dupe.

8.                   Enter any 11‑digit prime number to continue…

9.                   Entropy is a wavicle.

10.               Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

11.               Eschew Obfuscation.

12.               Ethernet (n): something used to catch the ether-bunny

13.               Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

14.               Every four seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.

15.               Every July 20^th we salute the 400,000 people involved in faking six moon landings, and for keeping their mouths shut for over 50 years.

16.               Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

17.               Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?

18.               Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

19.               Excuse me for butting in, but I’m interrupt‑driven.

20.               Faith and purity are inadequate substitutes for Kevlar and good cover.

21.               Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked.

22.               Fax is stranger than fiction.

23.               File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

24.               Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

25.               Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

26.               The food that you get in art museums is institutional revenge for the art that you get in restaurants.

27.               A fool and his money are soon partying.

28.               Football has as much to do with Education as Bullfighting has to Agriculture.

29.               For Sale: Parachute. Used once, Never opened, Slightly stained.

30.               A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

31.               A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don’t have to go. You’ll just be walking down the street and… oohh, that’s much better.

32.               Friends don’t let friends drive naked.

33.               Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

34.               Friendzone: A woman has a close male friend.  This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much.  She sees him strictly as a friend.  This always starts out, “You’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way.”  This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, “You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants.  But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic.  And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you.  In fact, we will never hire you.  But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

35.               The future isn’t what it used to be.